took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
