No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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