Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
