If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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