Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
