She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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