I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
