I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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