i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
