We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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