Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Less talking, more tequila
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
