I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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