I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
