I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
In other news, I just burned my penis
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
