i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
