Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize