Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
