Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
