Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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