This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize