dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
