So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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