i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
if i died would you start the facebook group?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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