I'm laying in your front yard are you home
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
