porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
