my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
