you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
did i just pee glitter
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
