We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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