lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize