then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
