What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize