What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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