So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
