youre lurking in front of me
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What a dumb baby whore.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
