mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Drake has all the answers
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I would fuck him just for his dog
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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