i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
