Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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