so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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