"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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