You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
