p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
