I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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