I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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