i don't like sucking hair
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
