to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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