I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
FUCK WHALES
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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