Can Purell be used as lube?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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