We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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