It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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