a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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