You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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