; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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