He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I am naked and annoyed.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
