I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize