Cold hands, warm shart.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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