I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
