wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
