Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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