he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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