and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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