In the future we'll all be gay
My nipple is on Facebook.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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