Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize